I’ve been reading Lifehacker, the “do everything better” blog, for 15 years or more. It was one of the first subscriptions I added to Google Reader, and it has been a regular staple of my daily procrastination reading ever since. Over the years, Lifehacker has taught me productivity tips, cooking hacks, time savers, and various other little life lessons.
And now I’m done with it.
Gina Trapani’s original vision for Lifehacker was to help readers become more productive. It seems the current goal is to cause readers to repeatedly bang their heads against their desks and question their life(hacker) choices.
By way of example, here are a few of their recent articles:
- 10 ways to show you ads while you click through an annoying slideshow
- You’ve been breathing wrong the whole time
- 32 things you can do with a coffee filter (but never will, because you’ll forget the list ten seconds after you read it)
- How to do something unethical and get away with it
- Make Lifehacker money by buying “the best coffee maker” through affiliate links
- The best science-based methods for relieving pain (that aren’t actually science-based like, you know, medication)
- How to stop malware according to a 22-year-old journalist who knows nothing about cybersecurity and didn’t interview any experts
Okay, so those aren’t real Lifehacker headlines, but they may as well be. Look, I understand the need for the site’s corporate overlords to make money. And, in with the sand there are a few pearls, like the glorious gourmand Claire Lower and the trusty trainer Beth Skwarecki. It’s why I’ve put up over the years with link-bait headlines, annoying ads, and even auto-play videos. But, overall, things have gotten so bad that finding a genuinely useful article on Lifehacker is as rare as finding a compassionate soul at a Trump rally.

So, that’s it then. I’m unsubscribed. I’m free from the call of the Lifehacker headline siren that lures me to the destruction of my productivity-seeking soul. Now if I can just learn to resist the urge to check Twitter and Facebook 279 times per day…